Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Faniboi Inanity

Abandon all coolness, ye who enter in

This post by Allah made me cue up the end of Return of the Jedi (doing so is insanely easy and quick since our network has about 900 easily-accessible DVD rips), just to watch the part with Nien Nunb. I ended up watching the last 20 minutes or so of the movie.

Then, out of some vague urge I still don't fully comprehend, I watched about the last half hour of Return of the King.

Just witnessing the contrast was like participating in a Two Minutes Hate with Lucas replacing Emmanuel Goldstein as the centerpiece.

Christ, what gawdawful tripe this was. I used to think that Episode I had soured my love of the previous films. But now I realize there was something else going on. It didn't poison some well of goodwill, it just revealed that Star Wars was always rather insipid and poorly made tripe that I was too young to recognize for what it was, and that right up until Ep. I came out, my affinity had simply been coasting on some kind of inertia of nostalgia and emotional investment. The idiot prequels didn't turn me against Star Wars so much as reveal its inherent lameness. And of course the fact that Lucas himself has long vied with James Cameron for the title of Most Insufferable Prick in Hollywood (you know, the "Miphie") just made the revelation feel all the more right.

If you'd told me ten years ago that I'd be writing this, there's a good chance that I would've chopped off my hands to prevent such heresy from being typed. I guess I can chalk that up to vagaries of youth. Even though it's embarrassing, I'm actually a little glad I have that blemish to point to. As youth idiocies go, being a Star Wars fanboi isn't too bad. It sure beats being a Chomskyite or Rage Against the Machine Homework fan. Although those probably would've got me laid more.