Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Things I Didn't Know Existed Before Today

# 75: Pet Acupuncture

I know. But there it was, right on the side of the car. And apparently they have an office and a logo and all that good stuff which means they're on the up and up.

Well, I'm sold.

What's that? No, I'm sure he's trustworthy. He's an expert pet acupuncturist. That's not the kind of thing you can learn in an hour. I'll bet that takes at least a solid afternoon of watching a training video to earn that title.

Stop being silly. Of course he's not the same guy you read about who went to jail 10 years ago for torturing squirrels. That guy was like twenty-five. This guy is clearly in his mid-thirties. Now stop being so cynical and distrusting and let the wild-eyed man stick pins into your dog.

No, no, that's completely normal. Yeah, really, I read somewhere that pet acupuncture is supposed to use only rusty railroad ties and hammers. Something to do with the unique energy signatures of animals' shakras or someshit. Now let's do this thing.